Originally published in PlayGuy magazine March, 2002

All my my buddies had been giving me a hard time because they didn't believe I was getting laid often enough. We were all like eighteen and nineteen and had met up at the gay Youth Center in town. It was cool that we had the Center and each other, coming out wasn't the big deal it used to be, but it was nice to have the extra support. Anyway, my friend Danny had been pestering me for while to hook up. For some reason the thought of me not getting any action bothered the shit out of him, and he was determined to arrange a date for me. I'd begged off or cancelled or just bailed a few times already, but Danny was tenacious and finally cornered me at a party with his latest prospect. The kid's name was Jonathan and he was a muscular good looking guy of twenty one who had apparently had his eye on me for a while. I felt weird the way Danny kept selling me and pushing for us to fuck and figured the only way I could get out of it was to go home with the guy.   

At his place we made out and disrobed. Jonathan had one of those big bubblebutts like all the beefcake boys and a huge dick. He must have thought I was a virgin because he said his cock might hurt me so he'd rollover and get fucked. He was a beautiful boy, but I just couldn't maintain a hard-on.  And after an hour of it going up and down like an elevator, we finally called it quits without having "done it." I dressed and left for home.     

The truth was, I WAS getting laid all the time. I'd gone to the nude beach to check out the dicks and had become friendly with an old guy and his lover. We had a great time together and they told really interesting stories and had well developed ideas and were hilariously funny. We went back to their beach house and ended up having great sex. I mean the most amazing stuff imaginable.

Soon Carl and Carlos were introducing me to some of their cronies and before I knew it I was fucking and sucking a whole troop of retirees on a regular basis. Old guys turned me on big time, everything about them made my dick as hard as an iron pipe. The time Carlos took his teeth out and sucked off me and Carl simultaneously I shot so hard I almost fainted.  

So I just wasn't into young guys. They lacked finesse and their balls didn't hang halfway to their knees. There was no way I could share this with my Center pals. They hated the old geezers and made fun of them all the time. To them being young and beautiful was everything and anyone over thirty five should hide themselves away in a basement until they died. I guess they couldn't understand that one day they'd be the old queens they mocked so heartlessly.

I sometimes thought it was funny that here I am "out" to my family, co-workers and schoolmates but still had to keep my sex life closeted from my gay friends.

Gotta go. I hear there's a position open at the "Old Folks Home".