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I was hanging out, kicking back and
bullshitting with a few friends
and a couple of acquaintances at some big homo to-do last month
when one of
the guys (whom I'd seen around but wasn't that familiar with)
said, "Oh,
here comes my lover, I want you to meet him." One of my buddies
nudged me
in the ribs and whispers, "Check this out." His lover was very
pleasant,
conversational and hot. Just like the guy himself. Just like.
These two could almost have been
biological twins. They had the same
facial structure, body type (with identical muscular development),
shaved
heads and goatees, identical body jewelry (multiple earrings,
pierced
nipples and navels, and tattoos of similar size and style in the
same
places (both arms, left shoulders). They had on the same kind of
clothes
worn in exactly the same fashion. These two guys even had similar
speech
patterns, despite the fact that one hailed from Texas and the
other Ireland!
What is this all about? Is this
narcissism taken to outrageous
extremes or is it something else altogether? Another pal of mine
kept
glancing down the bar on another occasion, giving his most sultry
pouty
expressions until he realized that he'd been cruising his own
image in a
oddly placed mirror. We laughed about it, but the truth was, he
would have
jumped his own bones if he could. I've even noticed duplicate
GEEKY gay
lovers. Do these guys actually go out looking for someone who
resembles
them? Am I the only one who finds this trend somehow disturbing? I
really
can't imagine what colossal ego would crave watching itself
hanging out,
personified in the guise of a lover.
When I had run across this bizarre
phenomenon four times in the same day
while soaking up atmosphere (and gin) in the local gay ghetto, I
began
analyzing the situation. Either these guys are way too in love
with
themselves, or one of them is so insecure and unformed as a person
that he
adopts the look and characteristics of his intended. I wondered
just how
many of these chameleon-like dudes are out there hunting for a new
identity
they can slip on like a pair of pre-owned jeans. It would seem to
me that
the whole process of realizing that you're gay, dealing with the
fallout,
and being put in a position where you have to declare who and what
you are,
should forge a certain amount of individual parameters. Could some
of these
guys be co-opting the sexuality of their heart's desire as well as
the
general demeanor? To tell the truth, if someone who I was keeping
company
with began echoing my movements, speech, and slovenly appearance,
I would
be totally creeped out. I could understand gradual similarities
developing
between people who spend a lot of time together, have the same
interests
and routines, but that's not what I'm talking about here. There's
something
very peculiar (and not in a fun way) about this sort of parrotish
behavior.
If that's what it is. Who knows? It could well be that these guys
are just
alike to begin with and delight in finding their soulmate bears
such a
remarkable likeness, such an uncanny resemblance, such a striking
affinity.
Perhaps the whole thing is some
kind of relationship preservation
mechanism. Because, really, just how do you go about the process
of
breaking up with YOURSELF! How do you look in the mirror each
morning and
not be reminded of the errant lover, when he's right there looking
back at
you? How do you divide up your lives when it's same exact one?
Personally, I think that these guys
simply misconstrued the actual
intention meant the first time they were told to "Go fuck
yourself".
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