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Pussies Have Problems.. 

 

      Anyone with the tube on in the daytime knows that pussies have problems. Yeast infections, burning, bleeding, leakage, itching and a whole universe of other disgusting related matters are regularly addressed in the mornings and afternoons. For some reason it’s even considered okay to show close-ups of a pregnancy test wand that’s changing color because it’s just been PISSED ON. Where are the “MALE” stay-at-home commercials? 

Where’s the ball bra for guys with one hanging so much lower than the other? Where’s the special tool designed to scoop up the smegma under the foreskin in one easy, efficient and cleverly priced swipe? Where’s the testicle scissors that won’t pull the hairs from your bag? Or how about that aloe vera ointment specifically formulated for those times when you accidentally catch the fleshy knob of your dickhead in a zipper? Men and their concerns are gradually vanishing from the main source of information dissemination in this country (or should that be “cuntry”?). 

The corporate sponsors of daytime television programming don’t consider us a worthwhile demographic apparently. Boycott. Write letters and make nasty phone calls. This culture has got to understand that it’s a fucking MAN’S world, whatever time of day it is. Otherwise we people with pricks are going to be under the absolute dominion of cunts (you straight guys might think that it doesn’t sound so bad but for us who don’t fuck them….). I didn’t coin the phrase, “battle of the sexes.” But I believe we ignore its factual basis at our own peril.    

 

July 2002

 

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