Judge Judy and Kids Today!
by Michael Kirwan
about not posting yesterday. I was too incensed to write to anyone. I
had Judge Judy on TV (not really watching it, just occasionally
glancing up to see what facial expression she presented to the
unfortunates before her) when a commercial came on touting the "must
see" topic to be covered in depth by the news crew. Guess what this
very important segment would be dealing with, the very centerpiece of
this broadcast? "Are there real Guardian Angels?"
I was stunned. How is this trivial nonsense EVER elevated to a
newsworthy standard? Is there nothing else happening in the entire
world that might be more informative or relevant than hearing the
tear-stained testimonials and learned opinions of deluded individuals?
Nothing occurring in Iraq or Afghanistan or the Sudan? Not a single
actual event in the United States that might better educate the
I didn't/couldn't watch this program when it finally came on. What was
the purpose of airing this kind of thing? Were they going to be able
to establish a definitive truth about this pressing theocratic myth?
Was there a fantastic breakthrough on the divine front that would
resolve this gnawing question once and for all? And this was on CBS.
Since the Bush administration came into power all of the networks seem
compelled (forced? blackmailed?) into regularly showing programs with
a religious theme, all delivered with a reverent hushed gravity, as if
on any level these matters of ghosts and goblins deserved serious
consideration. No one ever smirks or rolls their eyes while
interviewing an "expert" in the field or filming a bunch of cretins
adoring the twisted bole of a tree that resembles the "Blessed Mother"
(let's not even get into the grilled cheese sandwich or burnt waffle).
How come they never include anyone in the discussion that says, "This
is superstitious crap."? Why isn't the position that "Holy" or
"Sacred" cities, buildings, walls, hills, grottos or books being just
exactly what they appear to be (real estate and fairy tales) ever
expressed by ANYONE at ANYTIME on television? There are networks owned
and controlled by the various religious sects, so why does this tripe
make it's way onto every other supposedly secular forum? I'm actually
still reeling about just how much coverage a venue like CNN devoted to
the election of the Nazi Pope last year. And I don't watch anything on
ABC since they began carrying "The 700 Club" at one o'clock in the
I don't know if you've been following this business of the guy who
started charging men (via the internet) to see him naked and
jerking-off when he was thirteen and is now testifying before Congress
about his tragic ordeal. This entrepreneurial imp was lonely and
"looking for friends" and was somehow convinced by the evil
cyber-perverts to perform degrading acts on his webcam for five years
before some reporter "accidentally" stumbled on this outrage and
rescued the poor boy. Well, not really poor. The boy had been pulling
down several thousand dollars a week from his own exploitation. But
fear not, he has adopted the heavy mantle of distraught victimhood and
everyone listening to his grueling testimony (bits and pieces of this
act can been seen on "The Abrams Report", let's all just hope that
Nancy Grace is still too venomously preoccupied with that Natalie
Holloway yawner and the "Duke Lacrosse Team Rape" fiasco to jump on
this bandwagon) is SHOCKED that this kind of ABUSE goes on and
absolutely MUST come down hard on the internet business to prevent
abominations like this lad's harrowling experience from ever happening
to another innocent child.
Of course during an election year the "SAVE THE CHILDREN" hysteria as
well as the "MARRIAGE IS A HOLY INSTITUTION FOR STRAIGHT PEOPLE ONLY"
fear-mongering (they just couldn't get enough play out of the BIRD FLU
PANDEMIC!!! to elicit a national panic) will override the Iraqi
"problem" and the domestic woes and the incompetent/corrupt government
circus. But back to our beleaguered hero. While all the politicians
are exhibiting concern and sympathy as this desperate saga unravels
(and I'm absolutely POSITIVE that no one on the panel is getting a
hard-on while this lucid young man details his lascivious history) no
one is asking the questions that I want answered.
1) How were his grades during this period? Forget the parent, they
obviously had other things to do, but why weren't any of the
professionals in the education department picking up on this urchin's
sad plight? Shouldn't someone undergoing this amount of horrific
enslavement shown some signs of it? Ever? At any time? No one noticed
the money? Tsk tsk. I smell lawsuits!
2) How is it that a thirteen year-old charmer simply "looking for
friends" ends up with a pay-per-view site? How were these funds
channeled? Didn't his bank wonder where this kid was getting all this
money? Did he pay taxes on any of it? Shouldn't he give all the money
he made away because it's so "dirty"? Just exactly how much did this
boy prostitute pull down in years he was "working"?
3) And finally, shouldn't he be arrested for trafficking in child
pornography? Who goes to jail, who is the responsible party (because
somewhere, somehow, this atrocity has got to be pinned on someone!)
here? Isn't it a fact that this person made available and profited
from kiddie porn, even if it was himself that he was selling? What
happens in a case where an under-aged exhibitionist markets lewd
images of him/her self on the internet? Isn't that still a crime? And
what if tens of thousands of youngsters are doing something similar?
I know it's out of the question because we as a nation are too
invested in premise that children aren't in any way sexual but
certainly are purely innocent, but as a society I doubt we can
maintain this fiction if these computer-savvy young folk can get a
serious foothold into our morally hypocritical attitude about sex. We
rely too heavily on ill-thought out generalizations and unfounded
assumptions in this country. It's pretty clear to me that this young
man is playing the victim as deftly as he played the whore for all
that time. Let's face it, appreciation of anything even resembling the
truth is in short supply in our world. How else would you explain
people's willingness to believe that the ghost of some 2000 year-old
Jewish dude is hiding in the clouds spying on them? How dear do we
hold our REALITY? WMD, anyone?
I'm sure after this character does the talk show circuit and inks his
book deal and maybe trots his treatment to Hollywood (although filming
this misadventure could be tricky---maybe Clint Eastwood could make it
gritty enough not seem titillating) he just might be able to put this
ghastly episode behind him. Find a nice girl and get married and join
the church and get a regular job and live quietly in small town
America. But I'm putting my money on his becoming a housemate on "The
Surreal Life" in a few years. Try to catch this performance if you
can. It speaks volumes about just how phony and flimsy our
understanding of kids today is.