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Judge Judy and Kids Today!                

by Michael Kirwan

 

Sorry about not posting yesterday. I was too incensed to write to anyone. I had Judge Judy on TV (not really watching it, just occasionally glancing up to see what facial expression she presented to the unfortunates before her) when a commercial came on touting the "must see" topic to be covered in depth by the news crew. Guess what this very important segment would be dealing with, the very centerpiece of this broadcast? "Are there real Guardian Angels?"

I was stunned. How is this trivial nonsense EVER elevated to a newsworthy standard? Is there nothing else happening in the entire world that might be more informative or relevant than hearing the tear-stained testimonials and learned opinions of deluded individuals? Nothing occurring in Iraq or Afghanistan or the Sudan? Not a single actual event in the United States that might better educate the population?

I didn't/couldn't watch this program when it finally came on. What was the purpose of airing this kind of thing? Were they going to be able to establish a definitive truth about this pressing theocratic myth? Was there a fantastic breakthrough on the divine front that would resolve this gnawing question once and for all? And this was on CBS.

Since the Bush administration came into power all of the networks seem compelled (forced? blackmailed?) into regularly showing programs with a religious theme, all delivered with a reverent hushed gravity, as if on any level these matters of ghosts and goblins deserved serious consideration. No one ever smirks or rolls their eyes while interviewing an "expert" in the field or filming a bunch of cretins adoring the twisted bole of a tree that resembles the "Blessed Mother" (let's not even get into the grilled cheese sandwich or burnt waffle).

How come they never include anyone in the discussion that says, "This is superstitious crap."? Why isn't the position that "Holy" or "Sacred" cities, buildings, walls, hills, grottos or books being just exactly what they appear to be (real estate and fairy tales) ever expressed by ANYONE at ANYTIME on television? There are networks owned and controlled by the various religious sects, so why does this tripe make it's way onto every other supposedly secular forum? I'm actually still reeling about just how much coverage a venue like CNN devoted to the election of the Nazi Pope last year. And I don't watch anything on ABC since they began carrying "The 700 Club" at one o'clock in the morning.

I don't know if you've been following this business of the guy who started charging men (via the internet) to see him naked and jerking-off when he was thirteen and is now testifying before Congress about his tragic ordeal. This entrepreneurial imp was lonely and "looking for friends" and was somehow convinced by the evil cyber-perverts to perform degrading acts on his webcam for five years before some reporter "accidentally" stumbled on this outrage and rescued the poor boy. Well, not really poor. The boy had been pulling down several thousand dollars a week from his own exploitation. But fear not, he has adopted the heavy mantle of distraught victimhood and everyone listening to his grueling testimony (bits and pieces of this act can been seen on "The Abrams Report", let's all just hope that Nancy Grace is still too venomously preoccupied with that Natalie Holloway yawner and the "Duke Lacrosse Team Rape" fiasco to jump on this bandwagon) is SHOCKED that this kind of ABUSE goes on and absolutely MUST come down hard on the internet business to prevent abominations like this lad's harrowling experience from ever happening to another innocent child.

Of course during an election year the "SAVE THE CHILDREN" hysteria as well as the "MARRIAGE IS A HOLY INSTITUTION FOR STRAIGHT PEOPLE ONLY" fear-mongering (they just couldn't get enough play out of the BIRD FLU PANDEMIC!!! to elicit a national panic) will override the Iraqi "problem" and the domestic woes and the incompetent/corrupt government circus. But back to our beleaguered hero. While all the politicians are exhibiting concern and sympathy as this desperate saga unravels (and I'm absolutely POSITIVE that no one on the panel is getting a hard-on while this lucid young man details his lascivious history) no one is asking the questions that I want answered.

1) How were his grades during this period? Forget the parent, they obviously had other things to do, but why weren't any of the professionals in the education department picking up on this urchin's sad plight? Shouldn't someone undergoing this amount of horrific enslavement shown some signs of it? Ever? At any time? No one noticed the money? Tsk tsk. I smell lawsuits!

2) How is it that a thirteen year-old charmer simply "looking for friends" ends up with a pay-per-view site? How were these funds channeled? Didn't his bank wonder where this kid was getting all this money? Did he pay taxes on any of it? Shouldn't he give all the money he made away because it's so "dirty"? Just exactly how much did this boy prostitute pull down in years he was "working"?

3) And finally, shouldn't he be arrested for trafficking in child pornography? Who goes to jail, who is the responsible party (because somewhere, somehow, this atrocity has got to be pinned on someone!) here? Isn't it a fact that this person made available and profited from kiddie porn, even if it was himself that he was selling? What happens in a case where an under-aged exhibitionist markets lewd images of him/her self on the internet? Isn't that still a crime? And what if tens of thousands of youngsters are doing something similar? Millions?

I know it's out of the question because we as a nation are too invested in premise that children aren't in any way sexual but certainly are purely innocent, but as a society I doubt we can maintain this fiction if these computer-savvy young folk can get a serious foothold into our morally hypocritical attitude about sex. We rely too heavily on ill-thought out generalizations and unfounded assumptions in this country. It's pretty clear to me that this young man is playing the victim as deftly as he played the whore for all that time. Let's face it, appreciation of anything even resembling the truth is in short supply in our world. How else would you explain people's willingness to believe that the ghost of some 2000 year-old Jewish dude is hiding in the clouds spying on them? How dear do we hold our REALITY? WMD, anyone?

I'm sure after this character does the talk show circuit and inks his book deal and maybe trots his treatment to Hollywood (although filming this misadventure could be tricky---maybe Clint Eastwood could make it gritty enough not seem titillating) he just might be able to put this ghastly episode behind him. Find a nice girl and get married and join the church and get a regular job and live quietly in small town America. But I'm putting my money on his becoming a housemate on "The Surreal Life" in a few years. Try to catch this performance if you can. It speaks volumes about just how phony and flimsy our understanding of kids today is.

Love, Michael    

THE  END

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