Thoughts on Religion
by Michael Kirwan — August 29, 2013
I've been working on a couple of church-related
images recently. So naturally, I've been considering some of the
essential mythology that lays the groundwork for these
establishments. I'm not entirely sure whether or not these
observations have been delved into by more learned folks who
actually care enough to study this stuff (as I'm not one for
research), but these particular points haven't trickled down to the
"common knowledge" realm where I would've noticed them.
Angels. Living in Los Angeles I'm constantly
reminded of these winged literary creations. I haven't given them
much thought because I doubt they ever existed. They make nice
artistic subjects just as their fellow human-hybrids the Minotaur
and mermaids. It occurred to me that all of the named angels in the
bible were male; Michael, Gabriel, Lucifer and the rest (again, too
lazy to research but I did read the thing thoroughly four decades
back). Never heard of a single female-named angel. So, this God
character populated his realm with only male subordinates. What
makes something male? In the vast array of life forms on this
planet, it is typically the presence of a cock. From all of the
artistic interpretations of these creatures, it's likely they would
be categorized as mammals and all mammals have dicks (which get hard
to deploy sperm), and any being with a cock wants to stick it into
something warm, wet and preferably tight. Here we've got an all-male
society that according to the texts existed for a very long stretch
of time before humans made their appearance. Kinda queer? I
certainly think so. Also, it would seem that this "God" skeeved
vaginas to such an extent that he conjured up this "holy spirit"
character to impregnate Mary. Zeus would've just alighted from the
heavens to knock-up a human woman if he felt compelled to create a
demi-god or two. The written evidence would indicate that this
Judeo-Christian god just wasn't into pussy at all, and where I
come
from that screams "HOMO!!!" Why else supply the all male-named angel
cadre with (presumably functional) dicks?
Moving on to the "new testament." Lots of
"characteristics" would peg Jesus as a queer, but that's obviously
been over-examined ad-nauseum over the years. I'd rather draw
attention to one of his "men" Judas Escariot. It seems to me
that his actions leading up to the crucifixion and the immediate
period thereafter are those typical of a scorned lover. He betrayed
Christ for abandoning him, wanted him punished, and wanted him to
suffer as he himself was suffering. The old "if I can't have you, no
one else will," and "see how well you can do without me at your
side." Classic, gay, melodramatic over-reacting. However, as is
always the case, the destruction of the beloved doesn't take away
the pain. It's still there, and now the love can never be reclaimed,
or even dealt with rationally. So, a suicide seems the only
course of action.
We've all seen a similar scenario played out in
our community (albeit not quite to the death). It's very Homo
Theatrics
101. The key evidence for my supposition is the fact (according to
the texts and that's all there is) that the thirty pieces of silver
were found at his feet when his hanged body was discovered. Not a
single coin was spent from the payment received for ratting out
Jesus. It was never about the money. It was about a broken heart,
and a queer one at that. The richest and most powerful organization,
the "church" (which controlled most of the civilized world for two
thousands years), was founded on a fairly routine, yet tragic, gay
love affair.
Just a silly thought here... I wonder what the
apostles were doing during Jesus' orations and magic shows. Possibly
acting as plants in the audience heartily agreeing with each
pronouncement? Perhaps mingling in the crowd and picking people's
pockets? Who knows? I'd like to think that they were a
Chippendales-like dance troupe and performed slightly lewd routines
while Jesus took breaks to drink some wine and ready his next "feat
of wonder" to dazzle the multitudes. It's possible. Makes sense to
me. It's all SHOW BIZ after all!
Later, Michael
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