April Fool




 Art and Story by Michael Kirwan


Originally published in Allboy magazine - May/June, 2001


I hated my hillbilly cousins and their mean pranks; until one day at the lake, their tricks became treats.


"Oh, shit, here they come," I thought to myself as I sat at a picnic table at our annual family reunion. I was looking at my two awful cousins, Earl and Elmer who were there with their parents, real hillbillies from Tennessee, They were as dumb as they were obnoxious. Let's just say their intellects matched their names.


"Hi there, Bobbie Jo!" Earl greeted me, grinning his gap-toothed grin. "We ain't seen you since last year."


"Yeah," I mumbled, remembering what he and Elmer had done to me last year at the reunion. They had thrown a firecracker into the outhouse pit while I was in there and I pissed all over myself. I suspiciously eyed the two of them, standing there looking stupid and mean. If I didn't hate them so much, I would have to admit that they had become quite good-looking young men.


Earl was dark, with brown hair, mischievous brown eyes and a square-jawed face that was, I had to admit, bordering on handsome. The only flaw was a missing front tooth. Elmer was smaller and kind or ratty, with blond hair and dark green eyes. His best features were long, brown eyelashes and full, red lips.


But I hated them.


"Why don't you two guys leave me the hell alone?" I said, getting up to go over where the families had gathered, a motley collection of about a hundred people with lots of squalling, yelling kids and adults of every size and shape. But we were a close family and always had a reunion every year.


"What the cock-suck is the matter with you?" Earl snapped at me. He was really foul-mouthed and used words like cocksucker and asshole and fuck. But, as I said, they were real ignorant hillbillies, not educated and more refined like my family. "I don't trust you two," I said, "you're a couple of troublemakers."


"Oh, fer shit's sake," Earl said. "Okay, cuz, if that's the way you want it. We were gonna invite you to go swimming with us down at the lake, but go on back to your mama. Bet you're a real sissy boy, Bobbie Jo. Maybe you're still sucking on yer mama's titty."


That pissed me off. I was really self-conscious about the fact that I wasn't a real athletic. The only sport that I excelled in was swimming. I was a damn good swimmer and had taken some medals in our county swim meets.


"Okay, I'll go swimming with you two. As a matter of fact, how about a race?" I challenged them, knowing that I would be able to beat them easily.


"Great!" Earl yelled. "Come on, let's go!" and they started trotting down the path that led to the lake in the park.


At the lakeside, they both began stripping down to their underwear, and I followed suit. None of us had brought bathing suits, but we really didn't need them. There were few people around since it was April ... April 1st as a matter of fact. I stripped and dived in. The water, which was chilly rather than bone-chilling, made me holler nevertheless. Earl and Elmer who dived in right after me soon echoed my shouting. We splashed around, tossing water at each other and diving down in the water like fish.


"How about that race?" I asked, my teeth chattering a bit.


"What's the hurry?" Earl responded. He swam up behind me and I felt his arms encircle my waist. I jerked away and turned toward him.


"What the hell?" I said.


"Pull his shorts off!" he growled to Elmer.  "That way he can't come out of the water. We'll let the fucker drown."


Elmer grabbed the band of my underwear and pulled it down, and then he dived down and pulled my shorts down my legs and off my feet.


As I struggled frantically to grab my underwear, they both avoided me and swam away.


They reached the shore and ran, shouting, into the woods with my underwear and the rest of my clothes in their arms.


"April Fool, cock-sucker!" Earl shouted as they disappeared.


What the fuck? I couldn't come out of the water naked. I turned around and looked at the opposite shore which wasn't really too far away, and I decided to swim over there and see if I could find something to cover myself with.


I started swimming. I was moving along at a good pace, but the closer I got the middle of the lake, the colder the water became. After five minutes or so, I felt myself getting really chilled. My arms began to feel stiff.


Gritting my teeth, I swam on until I heard a sound, distant at first but then louder. I stopped stroking and looked around to see a boat approaching me rapidly. As it drew near, the pilot cut the motor to a soft rumble and the small fishing boat drifted toward me.


"What do you think you're doing?" a man's voice cut over the water.


I tried to answer but my teeth were chattering.


"Grab this!" the man shouted and tossed me a lifesaver, which I grabbed onto, and he towed me to the boat. Then he reached down and I grabbed his arm and he lifted me out of the water. It wasn't until then that I remembered my nakedness and despite the cold, I'm sure I blushed.


"What the hell?" I heard him mutter as he saw that I was naked.


Through chattering teeth, which diminished as I huddled under the warm blanket and drank the hot tea he had given me, I explained what had happened.


"Bad move to try to swim the lake," he responded when I finished. "This is an underground-fed lake and the water comes up in the center of the lake and it is ice-cold."


"Come on down into the cabin. You need to rest and I'll find something for you to wear and then I'll take you back to shore."


I followed him below and sat on the narrow bed while he rummaged through a duffel bag and handed me a pair of shorts.


I sensed him watching me as I dropped the blanket and pulled the shorts on and caught his eye as I looked up.


"Name's Randy," he muttered putting out his hand.


"Thanks; thanks for saving my butt," I said, shaking his hand.


"And a fine butt is it," he smiled.


What? I thought as I looked at him. He was probably thirty years old, handsome in a rugged, masculine way, with dark skin tanned from the sun and wind. His hand was big and rough and masculine and I felt very strange as I thought about his remark about my butt.


"Uh, thanks ..." I muttered, feeling like a fool.


"Tell me, Billy Jo," he said, "do you realize what a handsome young man you are?"




"Yep, you're really handsome. I don't want to be pushy or anything, but well, I have to be honest with you. I'm gay. And I'd like to suck your cock," he said softly.


Jeezus! What was going on? First my two cousins trying to bugger me and now this perfectly straight looking guy wanting to suck my dick. I was really shocked, but on the other hand, I was also aware that my dick (which I haven't told you before, is ten inches long) was getting harder by the minute. I heard myself saying, "Okay."


Geez, I'm only eighteen after all ... It doesn't take much to make me horny.


Softly, he ran his hands down my chest to my stomach, then he kneeled down in front of me and I felt his hot, wet tongue begin to lick my stomach. His tongue moved softly and warmly down to my navel and then his hands slowly slid my khaki shorts down as his tongue traveled down the thin line of dark hair which traveled down to my pubic bush and then to my cock. One hand reached inside the shorts and he lifted my throbbing cock out of its confines.


"Holy fuck!" he muttered when he saw how big my dick was.


I felt his soft lips on the end of my dick and then my throbbing, dribbling cock-head was inside of his mouth. I moaned with pleasure as he continued to engulf my length until over half of my eager cock was buried inside his mouth. He tried to swallow me even further but had to stop when he couldn't take any more. He began to move his head back and forth on my cock.


He pulled away. "Lie down on the bed, Bobby Jo," he whispered.


I lay down and he kneeled by the bed and began licking my balls, then he lifted my leg and his tongue traveled down under my nuts and he licked my butthole. It felt incredible!


Back to my cock again, he engulfed as much of it as he could in his mouth and begin moving up and down in rapid strokes.


"Uhhhgh, I'm gonna come," I muttered.


He sucked even more insistently. I felt the jizz boiling up from my balls and then a geyser shot from my cock and he struggled and swallowed as he determinedly held on. I fell back, exhausted and covered my eyes with my arm.


"Good?" he asked.


"Fantastic," I mumbled.


Later, I sucked my first dick and fucked my first man-ass. Randy was incredibly good and patient and by the time we reached shore, I knew that I was gay, too. I'd kinda known.


As for my cousins, well, let's just say that I like them a little better now since we have something in common. And as for their April Fool's prank, I've forgiven them.





Any images, writings or other content on this website may be copied for personal viewing only. They may not be: redistributed; sold; altered; enhanced; modified by artificial, digital or computer imaging; used on another website or blog; posted to any internet or computer newsgroup, forum or media sharing site; nor used for any other purpose without the express written permission of the artist or KirwanArts.com.

Any images, writings or other content on this website may be copied for personal viewing only.
They may not be: redistributed; sold; altered; enhanced; modified by artificial, digital or computer imaging;
used on another website or blog; posted to any internet or computer newsgroup, forum or media sharing site;
nor used for any other purpose without the express written permission of the artist or KirwanArts.com.