— Previously published in Inches magazine - June, 2001 —
— When Fucking a 'Toon, Fuck Like 'Toons
My first time fucking a cartoon was so much better than I'd expected. I'd
been working at the Studio for about a month and I'd been watching him
every chance I got. When I'd first seen his movie--before I got the
job--I couldn't believe it myself. Who knew I could get a hard-on for a
cartoon character? I mean, sure the Prince in that mermaid flick had
been a looker, but actually getting a stiffer for a 'toon? Yet here I
was, head over heels in lust with an animated guy. Though I watched him
everywhere he went, I never got to talk to him until one night when I
was working the graveyard shift.
I was passing the chief animators' offices when I caught something out
of the comer of my eye stirring in the shadows. Reflexively, my hand
went to my pistol.
"Somebody out there?" I called. Just because I'm twenty-four years old
doesn't mean I don't get scared.
And then he stepped out of the shadows. "Didn't mean to scare you like
that," he said with that self-effacing smile that had made me fall for
him in the movie. "Just wandering around my old stomping grounds. It's
been a while." He came closer, his thick dark hair falling casually down
into his eyes. "Must get awful lonely out here at night, nobody to talk
"To tell you the truth," I said, "it does get pretty creepy. Sometimes I
wish somebody was on duty with me."
"Somebody young and handsome?" he grinned again, this time a grin of
seduction and youthful self-confidence.
I grinned back. "Absolutely," I said.
"Well, I'm not doing anything tonight," he said. "The genie's got a date
tonight and the princess is at some charity dinner. That's why I came
down to the studio; I'm just looking for someone--I mean, something--to
"I sure would like the company," I said.
"Great! You almost done with your rounds?"
"Yeah. This is my last stop."
"Then why don't we go over to the props department. They've got a lot of
comfortable furniture over there. We can just relax and ... well,
whatever pops up ..."
The walk to the props department was torture. For the most part, before
tonight at least, I didn 't get a chance to talk with many of the 'toons.
The few I did talk to were pretty loopy--you couldn't really hold a
serious conversation with any of them. And as a guard, I was supposed to
leave them alone unless they needed me for something. By the smoldering
look in his eyes tonight, this dude definitely needed me for something.
And I was gonna do my best to make sure he got what he needed.
Generally, I'd found that 'toons had the same sexual preference as their
main animators, and since we had a lot of queens running around the
animation department, it was obvious that my companion was queer.
As we walked, I got a chance to see up close all the things that I had
been whacking off over for the last few years. His shoulders were broad
and muscular, narrowing down to a small waist and a deliciously tight
little butt. The pants he was wearing were pretty loose, but when he
walked, those butt-cheeks were perfectly outlined--all muscle protecting
a hidden core and just waiting to be eaten. He was wearing a vest but no
shirt, and I could see his massive, hairless chest--the chest that had
been bared through most of his movie, the chest that I had dreamed about
for so long. His eyes were dark and deep, gentle and also mysterious.
And below his strong Roman nose, full, sensuous lips framed a toothpaste
When we got to the props department, we walked through the aisles of
props from so many of my favorite films. We laughed as we pointed them
out to each other. We finally got to the larger furniture pieces and sat
down on a worn, overstuffed couch. He put his arm around my shoulders
and smiled that beautiful smile.
"You've been watching me since you came to work here," he said.
"Yeah, I have. I couldn't help it. You're a very attractive guy."
"You're quite a man yourself," he said. At six-one and a hundred and
ninety pounds of solid muscle, I was a better-than-decent-looking young
guy. I worked out regularly and hoped one day to be an actor. I had
short dark hair consciously cut like I was the star of a big-budget
thriller. I'd had my guard's uniform cut snug. It fit me like a glove,
showing off my, er, frame to its greatest advantage.
So I leaned over and kissed him. It was the first time I'd ever kissed
an animated guy. It was so unlike kissing a real person, but it was so
exciting I threw an instant woody. I ran my fingers through his thick
mane of hair as his mouth moved from mine, smearing over my chin and
down my neck. Already this performance has moved beyond a "G" rating, I
thought to myself. He loosened my tie then unbuttoned my shirt.
"You don't waste any time, do you?" I asked.
"I'm a fuckin' animal. Let me know if that becomes a problem." His mouth
gave my chest a bath as he opened my shirt. He sucked greedily on my
left nipple, then bit down hard on it. I let out a yelp of pleasure and
pain. As he was doing the same to the other nipple, I slipped his vest
off, revealing the chest and shoulders that would put Olympic gymnasts
to shame, completely hairless and sculpted like some Greek god. The guy
who first drew him had to have been a lonely homosexual with a great
My hands roamed across his chest in awe and I whispered, "Jesus."
He smiled proudly. "The guy who drew me must've been queer." I laughed
at how similarly our minds worked. "And horny. But what the straights
don't know won't hurt 'em. And I haven't heard any complaints so far."
"And you'll hear none from me," I said. I licked him all over. His skin
was unbelievably smooth, much smoother than a real man's but just as
hot. And I could feel the muscles working under his skin--definitely a
twenty-first century 'toon. His nipples had become as hard as his
biceps, and as I sucked on them, he groaned loudly.