Christmas Tail

 Art and Story by Michael Kirwan



Originally published in Allboy magazine - January, 2000


I agreed to meet the family up at the cabin for Christmas. There was going to be a lot of relatives that we hadn't gotten to see very often, and I knew my mom wanted to show off her marine son to them all. It wasn't really a cabin like you'd normally imagine. It was really a big hunting lodge that my folks had bought with my mom's brother and her best friend Sharon when I was a kid. The cabin was nestled in a remote mountainous area about four hours from where we lived and it had accommodated the three families for most of the occasions of my youth. I had a feeling that I'd be probably seeing the bunch of them a lot less in the future and wanted Ma to enjoy, what to her was her shining accomplishment, me being a marine.


Since I'd been at boot camp, I'd started realizing how much of the world there was to see, and I knew I'd have to begin distancing myself from my folks and their notions on what I should do after my hitch was up. This was a chance for me to look at them all and maybe say some of the sentimental stuff that just wasn't part of our regular vocabulary. The idea of seeing the entire extended family in the cabin, surrounded by the snow and trees, probably for the last time, made my heart ache. But I knew that I'd be travelling a different road from here on in.  Well, that's the way I played it out in my head.


There came a severe blizzard that delayed my plane for two days, and when I finally got to the house, everyone else was sealed up the mountain. There was no way to reach them. I wandered around the house reliving memories at each turn. The bedroom where I'd lived with my two brothers looked crowded and cluttered now, and I tried to imagine how much more tight my presence had made it. When the phone started ringing, I thought maybe it was news about the pass being opened and raced downstairs.


"Hello?" I said.


"Excellent! I thought we'd be the only ones stranded. This is cool. Hey, you got food and stuff over there?"


"Uh, I don't know. Who is this?" I asked.


"Oh for christ's sake you dumb jarhead. Go check the fucking kitchen, will you?" the voiced snapped.


"Oh, shit!" I laughed, "Ray! If it isn't Fucking Ray! Well, well..."


"GO CHECK THE REFRIGERATOR, YOU STUPID CLOWN!! If there's no food where you are, we'll just stay at my mom's and scrounge around here for Christmas and you can do your own trip there."


"No, no. You know my mom. This place has to have enough food to last a couple of years. Come on over and we'll bullshit. Hey! Did you say "WE?"  Don't tell me you brought a girlfriend  to scandalize everyone?" I said.


"No such luck, dude. It's just my roommate from college. He didn't have anywhere to go, and I wanted to prove these nutcases we call family that I've been talking about all semester are actually real. Now that we can't get up to the cabin, he's really going to believe that I've invented everyone. Ha! We'll have to slog through the storm to get over to your house so expect us in like forty minutes. Put your dick back in your pants and get some food ready to be scarfed down immediately." Ray commanded before hanging up.


I laughed and headed for the kitchen to see what's what, slightly startled by his casual reference to my prick. Ray's mother was my mom's best friend and we'd grown up together as if we were related, cousins or something. Neither of us even realized we weren't actually related until we were teenagers. Ray was sort of the black sheep of our extended family. It's not that he ever really did anything bad, he was just forever saying things and doing stuff that none of the relations "got", so he was the subject of much speculation and criticism. I began  to understood his frustration with our small town ideals a lot more since I'd joined up. He was a funny guy and this whole holiday was starting to look less lonely and bleak since I knew he was on his way here. I checked the larder and as I expected, my mom had stowed away every conceivable food stuff in every variation.


They got to my place in an hour and began pulling off the layers of snow protection amid introductions and lighthearted insults. Ray looked good, more filled out and generally more stylish than I'd ever seen him. His grin was out of control as he checked out the changes in me. I was harder and tighter, my shoulder rounded from basic training, and I could tell he was definitely impressed. My mood lifted just listening to him jabber on about school and the storm and the folks.


His friend was pretty quiet, pretty cheerful, and just plain too pretty. I wondered if Ray was smart enough to figure out that this guy was possibly in love with him. After inspecting the kitchen and asking some practical questions, this guy, Ormond, handed us beers and pushed us out of the room so's he could prepare something suitably festive for the holidays.


In the living room, I cocked an eyebrow at my childhood buddy and said, "Could your pal possibly be 'light in the loafers,' as Grandpa would say?"


He laughed and took a swig of beer, "Ugh, I'm more used to hard liquor these days. Ormond is more likely 'light in the pumps!' He's a screaming queen but he's great company."


"You know he probably wants to suck your dick." I offered.


"Well, he's had enough practice! He gives me blowjobs all day and all night, Marianne." Ray chuckled.


I was shocked and floored by his admission. He seemed really thrilled with himself. He spilt his beer while laughing at my astonished expression. "Are you telling me that you're gay?" I asked in a whisper.


"No, you dip. I haven't the time or money to chase pussy around at school. I like my dick taken care of and he loves doing it. It feels great and I don't have to go through any anxiety or bullshit. I am one pampered dude, and what the fuck, I deserve it." Ray explained.


He appeared to think this explanation covered the subject sufficiently so we talked about other things and then got called to the table which had a spread on it that looked like something out of a magazine. The food tasted as good as it looked. It was a real change from the mess chow I'd been eating recently and we enjoyed a great conversation. Ormond opened up more and proved to be strangely entertaining. I thought he might be bisexual because he kept mentioning some girl named Martha, but it turned out she was some kind of television cook or something that he was obsessed with.


Ormond told us that he'd clean everything up and that we "boys" should go amuse ourselves. I had never been around anyone so effeminate in my life and was astounded how unapologetically obvious he was. The guys in my barracks would laugh themselves silly or beat the hell out of someone like Ormond, but I thought he seemed like a nice (if somewhat ridiculous) guy who was comfortable with what he was. And Ray seemed very comfortable with him. I tried to picture our families' reaction to this curly-haired queer and decided that the blizzard was an act of God. 


It was real late when Ormond returned from the washing up and Ray suggested that we all get some shuteye so's we'd be bright and cheery for Christmas morning. I put them in my brothers' room because it had two beds and took my kit into my parents room. The wind rattled the windows and big snowflakes swirled beyond the glass. I felt strange listening to the familiar creaks and groans of the floorboards as I stripped down to my skivvies and pulled back the coverlets on the big bed. The storm raged all around the wooden house and I remembered all the winters that had passed for me in these rooms. Lying there in the dark  thinking about all the events associated with the holidays


I got kind of nostalgic and wanted to get up and look through my old photo album. I crept out of bed and made my way down  the hall towards my brothers' room where I assumed I'd be able to get the pictures without waking Ray and Ormond. The night table lamp was on by my brother's bed, and I could see Ray with his legs spread wide and Ormond sucking and stroking my buddy's thick glistening hard-on. I was so shocked that I  just remained in the dark hallway and observed, watching as Ormond's hand and lips caressed and teased the juicy fuckpole and tight hairy balls. He engulfed the entire nine-inch plus pulsating sextube, making soft moaning sounds and wet sucking noises as he stuffed more cock into his mouth.


It took me a few minutes to notice that Ray had spotted me standing outside the door. I'd been so fascinated by his big tool being ministered to that I hadn't checked his expression right away. He grinned at me and pulled his bloated member from Ormond's dripping maw and began slapping it into the cocksucker's face. "Tell me how much you want it." Ray purred, glancing briefly in my direction. "Tell me how much my cock means to you, baby."


Ormond didn't hesitate. He began murmuring of his adoration and need. "I love it. I want your big dick in me all the time, in my mouth and in my ass. I want to suck you all the time. The feel of your dick in me is the only thing that matters. I love tasting your skin, your cum, your ass. I would do anything to give you pleasure. I want your cock more than I need air to breathe. Let me have it, please...please....ummm." He took the thick knob back in his mouth and resumed sucking.


Ray glanced at me and then his eyes drifted towards my crotch where my boner strained the fabric of my boxers and the drooling pre-cum had created a transparent circle emphasizing my dark pink glans and gaping piss-slit. I reached down to cover myself but the supersensitive dickmeat responded to my touch by twitching to be masturbated. I quietly backed away and headed towards my folk's room. When I tried to push my prick into submission, it spewed out a load of white creamy balljuice all over my underwear, my leg and the floor.  With cum splatters drying in my funky shorts, I lay down surprisingly exhausted from the intensity of watching those two guys have sex, and fell into a deep sleep.   



I woke up in the morning and just lay there for a second staring at the curtain shadow on the ceiling, thinking about how I might react around them, whether my "acting" weird would ruin their holiday cheeriness. My thoughts were interrupted by Ray clearing his throat in the doorway.


"Hey, you look like you had a good night's sleep." he said, nodding towards my exposed morning piss-hardon thumping lazily against my belly. "Come on downstairs and do Christmas properly." Ray turned and started yelling for Ormond to get breakfast going.


I laughed and got out of bed. We gathered in the living room where there were decorations and gifts for those not going to the cabin. We toasted some Champagne and then Ray and Ormond exchanged presents. Ray got a satin robe that looked like something off a movie set. Ormond squealed with glee when he extracted a red union suit the kind with the flap in the back.


They immediately stripped down to try on their new acquisitions. I felt weird sitting there with two loud naked men tussling in my parent's living room surrounded by all the Christmas regalia. It kind of surprised me to catch a glimpse of Ormond's prick and realized it was pretty long with a fat head encased in thick loose foreskin. Somehow I'd figured that he'd have a small one.


Again Ray tagged me. He had followed my eyes and caught me checking out his roommate's equipment. "Hey, Andy." Ray said, "Sorry I didn't get a gift for you.  Actually, I figured you'd get out of even doing this holiday with the folks. Shit. You're all the way across the country and have a built-in excuse. Why did you come back?" 


"I guess I needed to do this thing one last time." I said. It felt strange to say those words out loud like that. 


He laughed, sliding the fabric of his new robe back and forth across his crotch. "Me," he said, "I figured they'd be so blown away by Ormond here that they'd actually discourage me from showing up in the future. I'd get some good laughs and then never have to feel guilty since they'd be complicit." 


Ray was standing there, grinning and leisurely fingering a bulging semi-hard through the shiny material. Ormond was picking up the loose wrappings and ribbons. Ray walked over to him and popped a few buttons in back of the union suit, exhibiting Ormond's round pink globes to me. "I got these for him so's I can get a little backdoor action when it's cold."


Ray was watching my eyes and my boxers tenting as my cock swelled with blood. He took his fingers from Ormond's crack and licked it before plucking a piece of plastic mistletoe from my mom's tree and tossing in my lap.


"I'll tell you what. I feel bad about not getting you a gift. I love you like a brother and want to give you something. So I'm giving you one of Ormond's world class blowjobs. If you want my present, use the mistletoe. If not, at least I made the offer."


I held the plastic leaf bunch in my hand and thought about what I should do. My dick made up my mind for me by suddenly expanding right through the gaping fly of my underwear and waving eagerly in the air. I suspended the ornament over my throbbing boner, and watched Ormond crawl towards me eyes glazed with a string of spit dangling from the corner of his pouting lips. He began kissing and licking my rock-hard cock, yanking my balls through the opening and kneading them with skilled fingers. When he got to some heavy duty sucking, I thought I was in heaven. My bloated meat filled his mouth and glided down his wet, tight throat. I could feel his muscles contract around the head of my cock.


Ray smiled at my writhing and pumping. He undid the front of his robe and stroked a massive erection. He went over to the fireplace and fished a large candy cane from one of the stockings and tore the plastic wrapper off with his teeth.  "How's that for some head? He really knows a hundred different ways to make a cock feel good. It's amazing how wonderful your prick feels when he gets going. Right?" Ray went on in the casual conversation mode as he licked the striped shaft of the candy and began sliding it into the groove between Ormond's gyrating buttocks. 


"Oh, yeah man." I panted, humping more bone past the cocksucker's tonsils, "My dick's never gotten this kind of attention. It fuckin' feels great."


My old buddy started digging the slippery sugar stalk deep into his roommate's willing boycunt. When only the hook was hanging out, he got down and licked the candy and the rosy stretched asslips around it.


"I'm gonna shoot soon. Ormond's doing too good a job on my rod." I rasped as I piledrove my saliva-soaked pole deeper  into that sucking maw.


"Lighten up, Ormond. We're snowed in and there's no hurry.  I want to watch you suck him from a different angle," Ray instructed as he removed the sticky candy cane from Ormond's ass and looped it over his fat prick. Ormond did something with my balls, and I didn't feel as though I'd explode right away  anymore. Then I felt his gooey fingertips graze the fur around my asshole.


Ray stood next to my chair watching my cock being worshipped orally. His own prick drooled spunk while swaying closer to my face. He was close enough that I could see his  pubic hairs sticking to the red and white candy creating erratic  brown stripes.


Ormond's finger had eased into my virgin butthole, and he was taking long swirling tongue passes up the rigid underside of my fuckpole. I had never felt so excited in my  life. Ray lightly ran his fingers through my buzzcut and whispered, "It's the season for giving, Andy."


His palm settled on the back of my neck and the pressure increased. The thick  purple head of his cock thumped my chin. "Don't you want to  give me something? I know you can guess what I need right now. Right? It's a gift that I would genuinely appreciate." My chum grasped the base of his bloated prong, steadying it and guiding it closer to my lips.


I looked up into his slitted eyes, feeling saliva filling up my mouth. "Come on, Andy. Give me a little. It's Christmas and you don't want to be a Scrooge!" Ray inveigled.


Ormond worked a second digit past my pucker and I gasped, opened wide and tasted my first cock. My eyes closed and my jaw stretched as Ray's veiny tubesteak sunk deeper into my gullet. Ray let out a contented sigh as I attempted to service him, trying to mimic a few of Ormond's more basic sucking tricks. 


"Thank you, Andy. This present is the best I've ever gotten. Watching you blow me really puts me in the holiday spirit." Ray chuckled, impaling me until my lips connected with the sweet familiar roll of the candy hooked over his prong.


I was sucking dick, getting royally blown, and grinding my slimy open asshole against three of Ormond's knuckles as Ray began humming "Frosty, the Snowman." My entire body shook with sexual delirium and my nuts began contracting, sending a jet of milky spooge all over Ormond's face.


"Is he ready down there?" Ray asked.


Ormond nodded and got up from between my legs. Ray dragged his prick from my mouth and backed away. He unbuttoned the front of his fag's union suit and pulled the whole garment down to Ormond's knees before positioning him beside me. He presented me with a new and bigger prick to suck.


"Do it. I want to see the big tough marine stuffed with fairy meat. Come on. A real man like you servicing this pretty girly queen would get me hot. Do it, Andy. You want to. I can tell. I know you so well, buddy. Suck his big dick with that marine mouth like you did mine just now," Ray said as he slid my sopping boxers off and positioned himself between my raised legs. He spit on his thick stiff prick and coated his rod before pressing it against my wet stretched-out sphincter.


I leaned forward and took the offered cock into my mouth as I felt a stabbing pain when Ray fed his dick into my sensitive tight hole.


Ormond chanted as he rocked his meat deeper down my throat, "Suck it, suck it, suck it...."


Ray buried his entire skin column into my shitter and began a stirring motion that made my spent prick twitch back to life. "Oh man, Andy. This is the kind of gift that just keeps giving. I've got my cock stuffed up your hot marine ass, and the sight of you working so lovingly on that fairy's tool is fucking priceless. Looks like my dick's gonna have to pull double duty to keep you two homos satisfied. Yep, it looks like I have two cocksucking faggots to take care of me until the storm's over," Ray said before really pounding his prick into my torn up manhole. "Oh, man. Hey Ormond! this marine pussy is so good I want you to try it out later. Besides, I want him to improve his sucking technique on mine. So, Andy, before I unload into your new service station here, think we should make this a new holiday tradition somewhere other than this three horse town?"


I pulled Ormond's massive dripping slab out of my mouth and answered, "Yeah. And remember... Christmas isn't the only holiday on the calendar."


Ray laughed and began humming jingles, plowing me to the various beats. "Merry Christmas, my two queer friends, Merry Fucking Christmas."




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