— Originally published in Allboy magazine March, 2004 —

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My bro Jazz and me was sittin' around in the Hot 'n' Tasty diner, where I work after school mopping up and cleaning the place. I had finished my work for the night and had just had a big piece of apple pie and ice cream and Jazz had come by and we were going to go out hangin' later and see if we could connect with some bitches. I had lifted a couple of brewskis from the cooler and we were slurpin'.

There's a CD player at the diner and I had just got me Eminem's latest album and was playing it. Jazz was diggin' the lyrics and making the moves and although he wasn't as big a fan of Marshall Mathers (that's Eminem's real name) as I am, he was groovin' and layin' back with his eyes closed. Man, I fuckin' love Eminem... the coolest white rapper on the planet. I can really identify with his shit.

This one number starts and we're sitting there listening and then Jazz says, "Holy fuck, Bro, do you hear what he's rappin' about?"

"Yeah, dude, I already played that 'D' a dozen times awready."

"Man, he's talking about getting his dick sucked... by a couple of other dudes! That's a total freak-out, man."

"Aw, come on, Jazz, he's just doin' it for shock value. He ain't really gettin' head," I say.

"I dunno, man; he has this other number where he says, 'you can suck my dick if you don't like my shit,' and he's always referrin' to getting head. I think your man's a fag, dude."

"Bullshit, man. He's as straight as you an' me. He's married, got a kid... and maybe he has had his dick sucked a time or two. I dig that fucker so much I'd even be tempted."

"What?" He stared at me.

"You know what I'm sayin', man. When you're really into some rapper like him, you're apt to do anything... it's like his number about the guy killin' himself and his girlfriend 'cause he thinks Mathers rejected him. You can get really fucked-up when you get obsessed with someone like him."

"Well, man, I dunno. It would have to be pretty fuckin' cool for me to put a dick in my mouth...." He sat there starin' at the ceiling, and then, he looks over at me.

"You ever sucked a dick?"

"No...."

"Well, man, you just said you'd think about it."

"Yeah, but I probably wouldn't really do it when it came down to it."

"You sure?

"Fuck, yeah."

"Even if it was your best bud and he was horny as a motherfucker and hadn't had any pussy for a week and really needed to nut bad?"

"What kinda' shit you talkin', man?" I said and then I looked over at him and he had this fuckin' cool grin on his face and he was rubbin' his crotch and I looked down and he was rubbin' his shit and grabbin' himself.

"Holy fuck," I muttered, "what you got in there, man, a fuckin' python?"

"Naw, dude, just the biggest dick in Lawrenceville."

"Shit, bet I've got as much as you have."

"Lemme see."

"Fuck all... no way, dude." I know I have a big piece but I wasn't about to show it to my best friend. That's just not cool, man.

We were real quiet for a minute but I see Jazz keep rubbin' himself, and Eminem is goin' on sayin' like, "Yeah, man, suck it... watch your teeth... put it back in... his mouth, he does it better than you....," and I started getting wood myself.

Then Jazz looks over at me, unbuttons his jeans and pries this fucking monster out of his crotch. I felt like a mongoose with a cobra... I was totally mesmerized.

"Is it as big as this, dude?" he smirked.

"Uh, maybe not," I muttered, still looking at this huge piece of meat with a dribble of clear liquid oozing out of the piss-slit on his apple-sized dick head.

I don't know what happened but the next thing I know, I'm pulling down my shorts and there's my dick standin' straight up with the big, pink head of it peeking out of the foreskin.

"This is it," I said.

"Hmmm, that's some pretty impressive shit, man," Jazz mutters and then, to my total freakin' surprise, he reaches over and takes hold of it.

"What the fuck?" I say.

"Just measurin' it, man; relax," Jazz says and keeps a firm grip on my rod with one hand and then reaches down and cups my nuts with the other. Then he leans over and whispers in my ear. "Hey, man, how about helpin' out your bro... Come on, jerk it a little."

I reach over tentatively and wrap my fist around his dick... and my fingers come two inches from reaching around, the fucker is so thick. I start sliding my hand up and down, and he's doing the same to me, and suddenly, I am totally into what we're doin', and Marshall is crooning about getting off, and I feel the jizz boilin' up in my nuts, and I reach down and push his hand away.

"Whassa matter, dude?"

"I'm gonna nut if you don't stop."

"Yeah, and so am I, man," he whispers.

"Don't nut yet; let's have some fun first." Then he leans over and whispers in my ear and I feel his hot breath on my face and smell the beer on his breath. "How about givin' me a little head, man, like you'd do to Marshall Mathers."

I don't say anything but he puts his hand at the back of my neck and sorta guides my head down to his crotch. I flip over onto my knees on the floor, take his man meat in my hand and then stick my tongue out and lick the pre-cum off his dick head.

"Oh, fuck! Yeah, man... That feels good. Come on, bro, put your mouth on it...."

I opened my mouth and took the big head of it inside and rolled my tongue around the base of his dick head and he started moaning and he put his hand on my head and encourages me to open wider and I get about six inches of that friggin' monster into my mouth before I have to come up for air. I pulled my head back and spit and dick drool ran down my chin and I held his prick and started licking it up and down from the base to the tip and he was laying back, his eyes rolling. "Oh, fuck man... That's too fuckin' good! Come on; lick it man... Take it in your mouth," and I open wide again, and he takes my head between his hands and starts face-fucking me, and I'm hanging onto his hips, and my dick is getting harder and harder, and he's moaning and whimpering.

"Oh, Jeezus, dude, I'm gonna come!"

"No! Not yet!" I say and pull away and stand up. "Not before you give me some head, dude. You gotta return the favor."

He takes hold of my cock and begins running his tongue under the foreskin and then pulling the foreskin over the head and nibbling on it. Then he jacks me a little and licks the pre-cum and finally takes it in his mouth. Well, I believe him when he tells me this is his first time, but man, he took my entire dick all the way down to the root. I could feel my cock in his throat and he was making these swallowing motions and I thought I was gonna fuckin' die! He sure as shit knew what he was doing.

"Oh, fuck, Jazz... That's awesome. Yeah, keep doin' that... Yeah...," and I reach down and start jerking his dick and spitting on my hand to give it some lube and he's sucking me and I'm jerking him and we're getting wilder and faster and then he pulls away.

"Hey, Danny... sit on it for me," he growls.

I look at that friggin monster, spit a big wad in my hand, reach back and smear it on my ass and he's slobbering onto his cock and getting it nice and slick and then I straddle his legs, reach back and hold his prick, and aim it at my asshole.

It's a fuckin' tight fit, man. I try to sit down but my hole won't open, and he's pushing up and I'm pushing down, and it ain't happening.

"Turn around," Jazz whispers.

I do as he says and he spreads my ass cheeks apart with his hands and starts slurping at my hole with his tongue. He spits and then tries to get his tongue into my hole and then he spits again. I feel a finger prodding and I try to relax and one finger slides in.

I gasp. "Easy, man, easy!" I growl. I'm friggin my meat and he's fingering my hole and I don't tell him but it feels fuckin' fantastic. He can tell I'm diggin' it because I keep pushing back to meet the thrust of his finger. Then he tries another finger and that's even better and before I know it, he's got three fingers in my hole and he's ramming them in and out and I'm trying to hold my balance as he pushes me forward. Finally I move onto the floor on my hands and knees and stick my ass up in the air as far as I can.

"Fuck me...," I growl. "Come on, Jazz... Put that fuckin' monster up my ass. Come on, I'm ready...."

He pushes his monster meat against my hole and this time it slips in past the tight sphincter and he just keeps pushing until I can feel his cock all the way in my guts. Once he's in, he starts fucking, sliding his meat almost all the way out and then slamming it in, making me grunt like the fuckin' pig that I feel like I am at the time. Man, I never knew that a cock could feel like that but it's slamming my prostate and I must have a fuckin' G spot in there somewhere cause he's hitting it.

I am jerking my dick and hissing and begging him to fuck me harder and faster and he's dripping sweat on my back and I can feel his balls hitting mine as he fucks faster and faster and I can feel my juice boiling.

"Ohhh, fucking fuck... I'm gonna nut!" He almost shouts, and as he says that I know I'm going to shoot a load, too.

"Yeah, shoot your load. Shoot up my ass. Fuck my fucking hole... Yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck. Oh Fuck. OH FUCKKKKKK!" And as I feel his load explode into my hole, I shoot a load that feels like a volcanic eruption, and the splooge just keeps coming out of my dick as he keeps thrusting, forcing every drop of fuck juice out of me.

I collapse onto the floor and into my own cum puddle. Jazz reaches down under me and rubs his hand in my jizz and then... I can't see him, but I hear him slurpin' my cum off his hand. Holy freakin' fuck, I think. Jazz is one freakin' dude!

He lies on top of me, panting lie a marathon runner and we lie like that until his monster finally softens and it plops wetly out of my over-worked boy pussy and lies across my leg like a dead snake.

We get up, I get some restaurant napkins, and we clean ourselves up and get dressed.

I had to mop the floor again ... didn't want the customers stepping into my juice the next morning, and then we left.

As we're walking toward Jazz's car, and I can feel the juice leaking down my legs, he turns and looks at me. "That fuckin' Eminem sure makes you do weird shit, don't he?"

"Yeah, he sure does," I say, trying to suppress a giggle. "Yep, he sure does."

We don't go looking for pussy that night... and we haven't been looking for it for quite some time. Jazz comes over, I put on that same Eminem album, and ol' Marshall Mathers makes us do some weird shit. And now I know I'd suck Eminem's dick anytime, anywhere, even on fuckin' TV, man, even if I doubt he's got a cock anywhere near the size of Jazz's meat.

Me and Jazz don't consider ourselves gay... We're just friggin' pigs... Know what I mean?

THE     END