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Originally published in Honcho magazine - February, 1996

 

The Reason Why

 

by Lefty Boylan (aka Michael Kirwan)

 

 

"Why us?" The question has echoed through our devastated community for more than a decade. The religious-right-fringe smugly attributes our ravaging to divine retribution for our unholy practices. Conspiratists spin their paranoid web around government cabals unleashing lab-created plagues, because as the churches discovered two thousand years ago, controlling people's sexuality is a fantastic source of power. Nihilists contend that it's simply the bad luck of the draw, along with different strokes come different diseases for different folks.

Who knows? There may well be a smirking deity or a group of fossils in a boardroom somewhere rationalizing the "undeserved deaths" of hemophiliacs and straights and babies. And I suppose it could even be "just one of those things," but I prefer to put a Darwinian spin on the whole affair. I'm no scientist, I haven't reams of supportive data; I've only my own observations and instincts to go on.

Here goes. In a purely biological sense, we exist as a heterosexual safety valve. We are a reproductive stopgap. Nature designed us to function in accordance with the straight world, not independently of it. Our physical imperative is to service straight males sexually, suck their dicks, have them fuck us up the ass, and take any pleasure they crave from our bodies and ministrations. This is part of a delicately arranged natural balance, one that we completely disregarded in the wake of gay liberation. We all did each other, over and over again, abandoning our true social service structure and eventually made our vast numbers redundant. We had slipped out of our prescribed role and forged a new tribe, one that, in the general scheme of life on the planet, had forfeited our biological validity. We've all seen enough public television documentaries to know the fate of species that no longer contribute to the vitality of an ecosystem, and it isn't usually pretty.

As a backup strategy, sperm count worldwide has steadily decreased in the last twenty years. By distancing ourselves from the population control mechanism (we should have always been the recipients of all that extraneous fertilizing sperm), nature excluded us from the equation and instead opted for reducing the viability of reproductive abilities of all Homo sapiens males. The earth can only support so many human beings. Any ecological survey will yield countless examples of organisms being eliminated en masse should their numbers prove a threat to the basic harmony needed for continual survival. Heartless? Cold? Cruel? When was the world not?

Our generation of homos have suffered a hideous, horrible, frightening, painful gutting of our population and if we are concerned about the next batch (they are after all our rightful progeny) perhaps we should steer them out of harm's way. Not with "safe sex" pamphlets and condoms, but by redirecting them toward the straight boys who didn't "get lucky," or the ones that just need a little titillation outside the pussy-farm, or those whose hormones rage independently of their social possibilities. Get them out of the protective ghettoes and into the very real larger world, where their cock-sucking will do the most good. Meanwhile, check out any classified section of any gay-oriented publication. See exactly how many times the phrases "straight-acting" and "straight-looking" appear and ask yourselves whether it's for societal convenience, or because deep down, each of us understands what we are and what we need to do.

 

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